Ildzhan Ismetov
WHO AM I, 2025, Video, 4'17"



“Who Am I” — already in the title itself I refuse to give a clear answer. Instead of a face, a body, or a specific personality, only a hand is present — action, repetition. The face is deliberately absent, because it would define an image. The hand enters the bag and begins to take out objects; it acts mechanically, without emotion. The removal of the objects is devoid of self-censorship and of a gesture of revelation. “I am what I carry with me” — literally.
The anonymous persona presents itself through objects; I am the star who shares “small secrets” from their life. I expose what remains secret and censored. Without shame, without the need for explanation. The excessive accumulation of personal belongings creates a shock effect: how is it possible that such a small bag can contain so many things? A sense of intrusion into personal space is created, one that violates the boundary. I reveal the relationship between the intimate and the public.
The bag is no longer just an accessory, but an embodiment of the body and of social expectations. Its interior tells a story, preserving traces of life and experiences. Objects with different roles are present — memories and strange versions of the “self,” existing simultaneously. The objects function as an autobiography, in the form of a physical CV.
The arrangement of the objects does not follow a defined logic of development. They are not chosen to be beautiful or correct, but to be real. It is precisely the banal that becomes central; everything is public, shown before the eyes of others. The uncomfortable and the real constitute my most sincere self-portrait.

My artistic practice involves working in the fields of textile, painting, photography, video, digital arts, and fashion. My projects are based on the exploration of identity, self-portraiture, the juxtaposition of opposing elements—gentle and rough, feminine and masculine—and intimacy. In my work I often use text, images, and the aesthetics of error. I am interested in themes such as sexuality, shame, the personal and the public, self-analysis, the relationship to desire, and nudity. I am drawn to “the beautiful in the ugly,” to sex, the corporeal, and the body as an object of art and fetish. In my practice, fetish functions as a form of liberation from limitations—sexual arousal, fantasies, and censorship. I view it as an honest language that should not be concealed.
The principle “imperfect is perfect” is central to my working process. In my compositions, I deform the fundamental visual elements and use them in unconventional ways, while collage occupies a central place in my practice, allowing me to deconstruct forms and create new connections between images.
My creative process is based on improvisation, a sense of nostalgia, and nocturnal reflections, devoted to exploring the relationship between reality and imagination, the soul and the body.